A First Home and Newlyweds

Ethan and I decided that when we got married we didn’t want to pay rent and loose the money every month, and not get anything in return. So what did we as wise young newlyweds decide? To build, that's right, to build our first home. Now some of you may be thinking how did they have the money or resources or that was a very poor decision. Actually it was and wasn’t. 

A little background:

Ethan and I are both children of construction workers. So we are spoiled. Yes, but not in the way most people would think. Sure we did get extra things from our parents because they are both successful business owners but more we are spoiled in the knowledge of homes and accessories. Both of us lived in pristine homes throughout our lives. Now I don’t mean with all the bells and whistles, though the last home my parents build did have some bells, I mean in the sense that the layout was extremely functional and no wasted space. When you have lived like this and looked at thousands and thousands (no exaggeration here) of house plans, you're spoiled. I didn't even realize I was until Ethan and I were looking for a plan for our first home. We had certain perimeters we had to meet; the plan had to be under 1200 square feet and a single story home. Simply because we couldn’t afford any more. Now looking back we couldn't afford any of it but if you want to know why Dave Ramsey has that covered. No need to preach his sermons. Anyways, I quickly realized that everything I looked at didn't meet any of my criteria for a home. I wanted a functional layout with space, storage, and most importantly not a “cookie cutter”. That last one was the most important to me. I looked instantly at the resale value. I didn't want to have the exact home as everyone else in the neighborhood. I wanted unique. Well unique is expensive and I had to swallow that fast. So I narrowed my perimeters slightly and we found the perfect plan. Ironically it met all our needs that we originally couldn't find. Funny how God worked that out for us. We wanted it a certain way, and couldn't find it. Then we prayed for just about anything and boom, there was the one we wanted to start out with. Plenty of storage, the layout was great and my kitchen wasn't the new style of living room, kitchen and dining all together. I HATE THAT! I got a nook and it was awesome. In the end we got a three bedroom two bath place and love it so much. The entire experience was amazing. Picking out the colors, cabinet styles and interior design was exactly what I wanted. We were in bliss mode and on cloud nine until the week off closing. 

Since we were first time home buyers, we decided on the government program. I will never do that again nor will I recommend it to anyone. It was a miserable experience. Remember how the government shut down in October of 2013? Yeah, two days later I wouldn't have cared at all. We were supposed to close the next day. I cried my eyes out when the loan officer told us that it was suspended. Then I cried again when the builder said he couldn't wait longer than a week to close. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, not even a flicker. Then my amazing husband who had only been married to me for a month came up with an idea, that I hated at the time, but the alternative I dreaded even more. He asked the builder if we could rent our home, yes as messed up as it sounds, until we could close on the house. Well to make a long story short, he went for it and we ended up renting our house for six months until the government was back online and our loan could be processed. 

Now you are probably wondering what does this have to do with God and marriage. I’m getting to that. People told us, and it’s very commonly said that the first year of marriage is the hardest. In our case that couldn't have been more correct and yet completely wrong. They say you fight the most and have to figure everything out, so it is stressful. Yeah, it wasn't like that for us. Our first year was hard because of what was going on in our lives however our marriage was amazing. We had the house looming over our heads, not knowing when or if ever we could close and call it our own. I was in a car accident, and after we closed on the house only four months later we moved. What they moved? All that for nothing? No, we moved and kept our home, but that is beside the point. 

Our marriage was amazing because we loved deeply and were there to help each other get through the hard times. I could come home from work, stressed about the house and know that on the couch waited my best friend who could give me a hug and kiss and say it was all right. We prayed about things constantly and it brought us closer together and closer to God. The song Blessings, by Laura Story,  was my life. I didn’t know what God’s plan for the house was and I was really worried that it would be for us to not get it. We had poured a lot of money and equity into the home that we not only didn’t want to loose but we loved our little starter. Every time I heard that song I was reminded that God’s plan would be a blessing even if it was at the moment bad news. Sounds silly but it was a trial of faith. Thankfully Ethan and I pulled through and we own our home today. It is in a quiet neighborhood with a park at the end of the street. 

So when the going gets tough, the tough get PRAYING. My mother-in-law once told me, “nothing is more powerful than God”, and I am thankful for that because he can pour his blessings on you if you only place your faith and worries in him. 

     Matthew 11:28 

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

College Transitions

College Transitions

It’s a known fact that young adults, once they go to college and are on their own, leave the church. Parents, and elders always wonder why, but I don't. It makes perfect sense. Think about it, just think about it. (After writing that all I can picture is the video “just look at it” haha laughing so hard right now.) Ok, back to reality. Honestly though, I really don’t understand why parents are shocked to find out their children haven't been going to church or reading the Bible. Most of them went to college they should know why this happens. Here are my thoughts.

First: No matter how grounded in God your child is, they want to be their own person. If you’ve ever read Genesis, you would know that people like to do their own thing. So, what happens next? Your 18 year old is ripe for the pickings with an underdeveloped brain. They move to a new city without any friends to keep them on the strait and narrow. Therefore, they slowly but surely drift away. 

That's right they drift. Why is that? 

Second: College, while it is supposed to be about learning, is generally more of a long four year party with a couple classes here and there. Besides, who doesn't like a good ole PAR-TAY, least of all an 18 year old. If they grew up in a sheltered home, (nothing wrong with protecting your kids) they have never been to one. So they decide to try it out and then another and another. Before you know it, your 18 year old sweetheart is now a college student; complete with a degree in beer pong. Guarantee they will remember this longer then the prerequisite class, having nothing to do with their degree, that they paid between $300-$800 for. 

Third: Their music choice and friends change. It all depends on what you surround yourself with. Ever hear the expression “you are what you eat” ? Well I’m making another, “You are what you listen to." Look at the presets on your radio. Anything Christian on there? You have six options, how much do you want to bet that one, maybe two, is a Christian station? Exactly my point. Now that said, nothing is wrong with some good U2, Bob Dylan, Elvis, Adele, etc… etc… But once you start listening to a ton of rap, (there is always the option for LeCrae) or songs with a bunch of cuss words; it is only a matter of time until that song becomes your life. Sounds funny but it’s true. I know this from my own experience. 

In college I listened to everything that was modern, and there are some songs that I still love today, but a lot of them should never have been in my life. During this period of life I struggled the most with morals and friends. Most of my friends back home (Idaho, I went to Alaska for college) were A: Still friends and seeing each other often, and B. Getting married. I was lonely. I wanted to have someone in my life day to day. I watched shows that had a lot of adult scenes in them, and listened to MUSIC that idolized sex and the body. This is not healthy for a young adult. Plus I never developed any healthy relationships with friends in Alaska. The few that I “had” were very casual and were not placed in God. This allowed me to become more willing to stray. The saddest part about this whole thing? I DID NOT EVEN KNOW IT WAS HAPPENING! That’s right. This is why after circumstances changed and I moved back home to Idaho, I decided to recommit my life to Christ. Honestly I bet my parents had no idea that I had drifted away. I still read my Bible and talked to my parents about God, but he wasn't an active part of my lifestyle. 

So parents before sending your children off, pray for them. Not the “hope they finish their degree” prayer, but the “I hope they guard their heart” prayer. They probably won’t understand what that means until they have left it vulnerable, but hopefully they stay true to themselves and to Christ. 

              Proverbs 22:6

                            "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." 

Raised Christian

Ok so I wanted to start this off by talking about a struggle I have had for most of my life. 

When was I saved?

This being a topic that I believe affects some children who are brought up in a Christian home. 

I know this sounds silly most people have it written down in their Bible on the front page, mark it on their calendars and thank the Lord on that day for changing their life. However for me, I don’t know when or where I was. 

I grew up in a Christian home my entire life with two wonderful parents, Fred and Darcy, to guide me on my journey through life with Christ. The only problem is that I was always with Jesus so I don’t know when I gave my heart to him. I know what you are thinking. Problem? Why is walking with Jesus a problem? IT IS NOT! Trust me I am very blessed in that I never was the “bad” kid. Sure I sinned but always the little things (Not saying that sins are ranked different, they are all the same in God’s eyes), I would lie to my parents, fight with my siblings but I never stepped out of the “normal boundaries” my parents had set. I didn’t sneak out, (no joke) do drugs, (not even a puff) or go to graduation parties that my fellow classmates held. I knew theses things would disappoint my parents, funny though, I didn't think it would disappoint God. Seams like he should be the center of my life. To be honest, for years and even now sometimes he isn’t. Shocking! Did a christian just say God isn't always in her life? Yes, yes I did. It is something that I have to consistently work on, day in and day out. 

Our pastor this week, Jonathan Alexander (shout out to Northshore Community Church of Kirkland WA), said something that I really took to heart. We were reading about the woman who anointed Jesus’s feet with oil, and he said, “One who much is forgiven, loves much” now he was paraphrasing Jesus.

Luke 7:47 “Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

Convicting message, but to be honest, after he said this all I could think was “I do love little”. I spend more time during the day thinking about what I am going to make for dinner rather than praying or even thanking the Lord for all of the blessings he has given to, not just me but my husband as well. We have more than we could ask for. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way living in our culture, but we do. I have a roof over my head and a car that is definitely not perfect but can get me from A to B, an income that satisfies all our needs and more, and on top of it all a family that loves me and my husband unconditionally. So why do I love little? I don’t know, I am working on it daily. I changed a preset in my car to Christian radio, have been listening to more messages online, and spending more time with my Bible and thinking on the Lord. I do think that in time these changes will help me to love the Lord more and be thankful for his blessings whenever they are bestowed. But again I still struggle with when I committed my life to Christ. Some may think this is silly, I walk with God now why would I care when I started? I think that way as well occasionally, but other times I wonder have I truly ever walked with him? The answer of course is yes but I never had the “aha” moment some do. They feel the Holy Spirit pouring over them and you can see instantly a changed person. Maybe that didn’t happen to me because I wasn't at the breaking point. I don't know. All I know is that on my journey with God I recommitted myself to him after college. I never stopped believing, but my lifestyle had changed and I knew it would lead to a path that God wouldn’t want me to take. So at the age of 19 I sought to put God at the forefront of my life. Just from reading this you already know that he hasn't always been at the forefront. But that isn’t because he left, it was because I wouldn't open the door to let him in. So I guess after all of this I have realized it is a journey that you have to take day by day and through his grace, even if I make a mistake, he will not abandon me. He will accept me with my flaws because he doesn't see them. All he can see is a soul perfect because of Christ, not myself.