A First Home and Newlyweds

Ethan and I decided that when we got married we didn’t want to pay rent and loose the money every month, and not get anything in return. So what did we as wise young newlyweds decide? To build, that's right, to build our first home. Now some of you may be thinking how did they have the money or resources or that was a very poor decision. Actually it was and wasn’t. 

A little background:

Ethan and I are both children of construction workers. So we are spoiled. Yes, but not in the way most people would think. Sure we did get extra things from our parents because they are both successful business owners but more we are spoiled in the knowledge of homes and accessories. Both of us lived in pristine homes throughout our lives. Now I don’t mean with all the bells and whistles, though the last home my parents build did have some bells, I mean in the sense that the layout was extremely functional and no wasted space. When you have lived like this and looked at thousands and thousands (no exaggeration here) of house plans, you're spoiled. I didn't even realize I was until Ethan and I were looking for a plan for our first home. We had certain perimeters we had to meet; the plan had to be under 1200 square feet and a single story home. Simply because we couldn’t afford any more. Now looking back we couldn't afford any of it but if you want to know why Dave Ramsey has that covered. No need to preach his sermons. Anyways, I quickly realized that everything I looked at didn't meet any of my criteria for a home. I wanted a functional layout with space, storage, and most importantly not a “cookie cutter”. That last one was the most important to me. I looked instantly at the resale value. I didn't want to have the exact home as everyone else in the neighborhood. I wanted unique. Well unique is expensive and I had to swallow that fast. So I narrowed my perimeters slightly and we found the perfect plan. Ironically it met all our needs that we originally couldn't find. Funny how God worked that out for us. We wanted it a certain way, and couldn't find it. Then we prayed for just about anything and boom, there was the one we wanted to start out with. Plenty of storage, the layout was great and my kitchen wasn't the new style of living room, kitchen and dining all together. I HATE THAT! I got a nook and it was awesome. In the end we got a three bedroom two bath place and love it so much. The entire experience was amazing. Picking out the colors, cabinet styles and interior design was exactly what I wanted. We were in bliss mode and on cloud nine until the week off closing. 

Since we were first time home buyers, we decided on the government program. I will never do that again nor will I recommend it to anyone. It was a miserable experience. Remember how the government shut down in October of 2013? Yeah, two days later I wouldn't have cared at all. We were supposed to close the next day. I cried my eyes out when the loan officer told us that it was suspended. Then I cried again when the builder said he couldn't wait longer than a week to close. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, not even a flicker. Then my amazing husband who had only been married to me for a month came up with an idea, that I hated at the time, but the alternative I dreaded even more. He asked the builder if we could rent our home, yes as messed up as it sounds, until we could close on the house. Well to make a long story short, he went for it and we ended up renting our house for six months until the government was back online and our loan could be processed. 

Now you are probably wondering what does this have to do with God and marriage. I’m getting to that. People told us, and it’s very commonly said that the first year of marriage is the hardest. In our case that couldn't have been more correct and yet completely wrong. They say you fight the most and have to figure everything out, so it is stressful. Yeah, it wasn't like that for us. Our first year was hard because of what was going on in our lives however our marriage was amazing. We had the house looming over our heads, not knowing when or if ever we could close and call it our own. I was in a car accident, and after we closed on the house only four months later we moved. What they moved? All that for nothing? No, we moved and kept our home, but that is beside the point. 

Our marriage was amazing because we loved deeply and were there to help each other get through the hard times. I could come home from work, stressed about the house and know that on the couch waited my best friend who could give me a hug and kiss and say it was all right. We prayed about things constantly and it brought us closer together and closer to God. The song Blessings, by Laura Story,  was my life. I didn’t know what God’s plan for the house was and I was really worried that it would be for us to not get it. We had poured a lot of money and equity into the home that we not only didn’t want to loose but we loved our little starter. Every time I heard that song I was reminded that God’s plan would be a blessing even if it was at the moment bad news. Sounds silly but it was a trial of faith. Thankfully Ethan and I pulled through and we own our home today. It is in a quiet neighborhood with a park at the end of the street. 

So when the going gets tough, the tough get PRAYING. My mother-in-law once told me, “nothing is more powerful than God”, and I am thankful for that because he can pour his blessings on you if you only place your faith and worries in him. 

     Matthew 11:28 

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Feet

I have been married for almost two years and supposedly we are still in the romantic phase of marriage. In the romantic phase you are willing to do most anything for your spouse. Back rubs, cuddling, sharing your ice cream, and getting up in the middle of the night to help them when they are sick. Ethan and I have done all of these and much more, but what we don't do is wash each other's feet. Not only will we not wash them but we also won't touch them. Something about feet just bothers people down to the core. They are gross. Even the ones that get pedicures and are perfectly clean; they are still gross to us. I have only received one foot rub from Ethan and it was before we were even engaged. I think he did it just hoping I'd keep dating him. Now when I ask the most common answer is "maybe some other time", meaning never. If I ever do receive another, guarantee he will make me put a sock on so he isn't touching my foot. Now we are married, we love each other down to the bone, and we are still not willing to do this. Yet, there once was a woman who not only touched Jesus' feet but washed them with her tears, wiped them with alabaster oil, and dried them with her hair.

Luke 7: 36-38

      36 "Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. 37 And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, 38 and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil."

If you continue through the passage you will see that this woman was not someone special but rather by the language of the passage either promiscuous or a prostitute. People recognized her name with her profession and she was not one to have over for Sunday brunch. However, she unlike many of the people Jesus spoke to, truly loved Him. Weeping when she saw Him, she knew that only through His mercy, He could change her life. She washed His feet with an oil that cost most likely a year's wages. Can you imagine buying something for your spouse that cost one year of wages and you used the entire object in five maybe ten minutes? 

      Luke 12:34

            34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

This woman placed all of her treasure on Jesus' feet. She showed Him the abundance of love unlike any other. When we picture Jesus we see a man who is glowing and perfectly clean. Jesus was not perfectly clean. His feet were dirty. He walked in the dust and mud and anything else on the road with sandals. His feet were covered with little pebbles and twigs and she wiped them with her hair. After she had finished worshiping Him, she didn't rush home to wash her hair of the thistles or wipe her hands clean. No she walked with the abundance of peace in her life and the knowledge that her hair now smelled like Jesus. 

This woman may have been the lowest of society but on that day she became a princess in heaven.  If you want to know what serving your spouse should look like, she demonstrated it to the fullest. She placed everything she had in Jesus, trusted Him with her whole heart. Isn't the goal as Christians to be more like Jesus? He washed his disciples feet. We should be willing to humble ourselves to serve our spouse in every way. Next time you read this passage don't look at the fact that she was a sinner but how she demonstrates love and humility.